Tomorrow I go and sit. Go and sit and try not to think. Try not to think about the mess. Try not to think about the confusion; the color of things, the film developing on everything, that taste, the ringing in my ears, who's taking my money, fucking up my air, pumping me full of chemicals, infiltrating my silence, manipulating my breath...
I guess sometimes we can get pretty excited about pinning it on the who, and forget about the how. The pain in my shoulder shooting up hot knives to my ear is a forceful reminder that it can become physical. They can come in through other senses and make us hurt. Make a mental state manifest other parts of its reality physically. And most of them are barely trying. Most of them are so caught up a bullshit moral battle they aren't even focused.
That is just part of it, as this version of the mind gets its go around. Will it be driven out of control by others, by its own nature? A bad recipe.
I go to be for my reality. Yes, yes. Try to tune into different threads of chaos. Threads that make sense, that help us rise above the spectacle that has been so feverishly forced upon us. Take some time to shut them up. I need to recharge, if I'm going to stay in this fight I have to dedicate the time to strengthen my mind. They take everything, then they want to loan it back to you at a convenient rate. All in an effort to help you be free, do what you want, and be on their payment plan.
